I went for an ultrasound with my radiologist. I thought it was going to be routine. I had felt a lump but thought it was a cyst as it had been in the past. After seeing the images on ultrasound, she did a mammogram. Then scheduled me for an MRI & core biopsy. Her assumptions were confirmed....CANCER.
She called my breast surgeon & had me rush down to see her. She felt my breast & measured it. 7cm by 7cm. Too large to just operate. Her thought is to start chemo first & then operate to ensure it is all taken out. But not just lumpectomy. A masectomy. I'm loosing my breast. Granted I have always hated my breasts. In my teens, I had DD boobs. So embarrassing. In my 20s, down to C. Perfection. Then pregnancy & now I'm going to loose them.
In all honesty, I'm scared. Scared that I'll look ridiculous with no hair & one boob. Scared that my kids will see me suffer. Scared that I won't be able to be there for my children when they need me the most. I know I am not the only one who has gone through this but I'm my children's only MOMMY who has to go through this.
I think it would have been easier to do this if my children were older. But they are babies & I want them to know I'm here for them. All I keep saying is PLEASE DON'T LET ME DIE!
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