No Mo' Chemo

I had my last chemo treatment on Tuesday. Words cannot describe the absolute sense of relief that it is over.



I've scheduled my masectomy in Aug. While I plan to do a double masectomy, I have to wait to do the other breast when I have reconstruction. My surgeon is worried that since I had chemo first & my immune system will still be recovering that I may have an increased chance of infection. So I will have to get a prosthetic which I was hoping to avoid. I hate the fact that I will be assymmetrical for 6+ months.



My biggest fear about surgery is going under. I've had surgery before & 2 c-sections but now that I have kids the fear of not waking up scares me. I want to be here to see them grow & discover the world & themselves. I want them to know me. They are so young that if something does go wrong they won't remember my hugs, my kisses, my goodnight routine with them, my laugh and how much I love them.